I used to never include this in my portfolio but it’s fun so fuck it. I was drinking with some of coworkers at Translation, and a few old fashioneds in I started going off about the State Farm universe. Chris and Cliff Paul. The jingle summoning agents. The Hoopers.
We were creating a whole world but never going that deep into it. I mean, hell, look how many people on Reddit talk about Jake from State Farm.
I told them I thought I could come up with a crazy backstory for it all. They laughed and said “sure, haha.” Which I took as a challenge — so I ran home and drunkenly composed this ENTIRE fan fiction blog about State Farm, explaining EVERYTHING. Here’s a taste:
JK Rowling
JK Rowling sat at her desk, trying to figure out what she was going to present to her publishing company. Monday she had yet another check-in with the editor, and she still had jack shit to show. With a sigh, she broke the only promise she had ever made to herself.
“Like…a good neighbor…State Farm is there.”
The State Farm agent appeared and looked at who he was summoned to assist. “JK Rowling? Wow! This so cool! The author of Harry Potter!”
Rowling was attentive. “Harry Potter, you say? Tell me about it…”
Over the next few hours, the agent described (verbatim) the entirety of the Harry Potter series to JK Rowling, it’s future author.
“…and then there’s this weird scene where you see the future, and it’s Harry, Ginny, Hermione, and Ron – they’re all kind of old but they’re bringing their kids to the Hogwarts train. Wait – I actually just saw the movie for this one…”
Rowling scribbled furiously. She left the agent sitting there and went off to type a book plagiarized from its own author by its own author. Which was originally plagiarized from a few dozen other literary sources. Because she then went on to write the book, there were no interruptions to the space-time-continuum.